The Overthinker: why you’d rather keep searching than make a decision

You gather information. And then some more information. You seek a third opinion, read yet another article, wait until you’re “absolutely certain” before making up your mind. Meanwhile, the decision you could actually have made ages ago is still on the table: which supplier to go with, whether to hire that job applicant, or whether to move to that other house. You’re not doing nothing; in fact, you’re very actively engaged. Just not in making a choice.

From the outside, it might look as though you don’t think it’s that important, or that you’re slow on the uptake. The opposite is true. You find it so important to get it right that every choice becomes a risk: what if I choose the wrong option and have to admit it later? So instead of choosing, you keep searching. Searching feels safe, because as long as you’re still exploring, you can’t go wrong. Choosing feels irreversible, even if that isn’t actually the case.

Why this happens

The problem is that no amount of information can completely eliminate doubt. You can wait endlessly for the moment when you ‘know enough’ to choose with confidence, and that moment almost never just happens by itself. At some point, you have to take the plunge with the information you have, even if it’s incomplete. For a Worrywart, that’s one of the hardest steps there is, because it requires living with uncertainty rather than trying to eliminate it entirely first.

There’s also a social aspect to it: a Worrywart often seeks the opinions of others, not just to gather information, but also to share some of the responsibility for the outcome. If things go wrong, it isn’t entirely your fault, because the other person thought it was a good idea too.

The strength you mustn’t lose

This trait is also precisely why Worriers often deliver such thorough work. Gathering information, weighing up different perspectives, taking others’ opinions seriously: these are valuable skills, especially in a team where someone else ultimately dares to make the final decision. It only becomes a problem when the gathering never stops.

What can you do differently tomorrow?

Before making your next decision, set a firm limit on your research: for example, two sources, or a fixed thirty-minute block – no more. Then make your choice based on what you have at that moment, even if it feels incomplete. That feels uncomfortable, and that’s precisely the point: that discomfort is the feeling of making a decision, not a sign that you’re doing something wrong or haven’t researched enough.

A second tip: do you find yourself coming back to the same question time and again without any new information coming to light? Then you’re no longer researching; you’re just procrastinating under the guise of gathering information. That distinction alone – between ‘I’m looking for something new’ and ‘I’m repeating what I already know’ – helps you catch yourself in time and finally make up your mind.

Want to make it just that bit easier? Before making a difficult decision, arrange a time in advance with someone to share your choice with, regardless of whether you’re ‘absolutely certain’. That arrangement acts as a sort of deadline for your indecision.

Is this you? See if you are, with my free test to determine your procrastination type.